Well, I remember the year just started and it's already the middle of April.
Last Saturday there was this dance battle competition "One For All" and some of the crew joined.
It’s our first dance battle competition. We met a lot of dancers of different crews and even outta city. It was fun, gathering with all those dancers, and that was actually the purpose of the event. Here I learned much. What I get is The real purpose is not to be the best, but to give the best you got. Yes, that’s the way it should go. I passed until big 4, and in 2 first battles, my purpose was to win over my enemies, and lucky I won them. But then the 3rd and last battle before I wiped out was a battle with my own crew member, who’s absolutely a lot more skillful and things. And I was lost before the battle even started. I thought I won’t beat him and I backed down. It’s not a respectful loss, I should have battled to show my best, not to beat the enemy. So the result is I was wiped out and I feel bad. If only my purpose was to give the best of me, not to beat them, I would’ve enjoyed my dance better and won’t feel bad about anything. Next time it is, I should always be trying to give the best and always be myself. However, I am really grateful for that day. It was an amazing day of experience.
These days I feel like I’m bonding to the circle. I remember I was feeling alone and I was feeling as an outsider in this circle. But it’s changing, it’s getting different. That began the moment I started to act as myself, as me. Not as who I pretended to be. Then the whole view started to change little by little. I could enjoy my time. The conversations start to get nice. I don’t feel like a scrap on their shoes, at least it’s not like how it used to be. I hope this will last and get even better. I belong here as I know and things should be better since we’re gonna be together months ahead. The thing learned is, being yourself is nice, really nice. Even though yourself is not who you want to be. Be honest and show our weakness, people will respect and like us more than if we try to cover it. When it’s spoiled, it’ll all be over. Being our self is being bold, and no one will suspect anything.
Oh yeah, I bought this agenda book, it’s like some kinda journal. Since it’s getting busy in my days, I should note many things so the alzheimer moment don’t come to me. Plans rushing this month are only: Charity Job “Satu Hati” at 23rd, perform at school’s Easter and Petra Parade preliminary at 28th, perform at PD Team’s Easter and Petra Parade finals (if we pass) at 29th. And some small events around it. Getting my butt sore after One For All ‘till now though, I hope it’ll heal fast! ‘_’
These past few days I was busy selling T-Shirts to my friends, it started when my friend wanted to buy it and I helped him looking for more interested people to grab them as well so that the price will drop lower. Looking for a certain number of people was hard, but when it hit the number, it expanded and the number of people ordering was doubled. I was like, WOW. This could make and allowance to me. It’s really nice and I think doing it again next time won’t hurt. More allowance, more fun! LOL
A little info: I'm back to my swimming routine! Every Monday! It's nice to know I'm gonna get taller and not stuck like this. I'm doing it alone. I wonder what you'd say if you know that I go to that place every week, alone. You'd probably freak out and tell me to stop. haha.. That place used to be forbidden for me even if I went there with my friends. And I remember sneaking there without telling you. LOL Wow, memories. I hope you swim often too. You're a great swimmer, remember? Don't get caught up too much in education buzzes.. Actually, something really happened in this place. But I'm okay and I handled it. I can protect myself, you know? See, I'm not a real kid like what you always thought. Besides, swimming alone doesn't make me feel unsecure. It actually strengthens me somehow. I feel all buffed and serious. haha..
The last thing are prayers for the 12 graders, 9 graders, and 6 graders who is facing UNAS these weeks. Good luck! Give your best and God will do the rest. GBU :)
Last Saturday there was this dance battle competition "One For All" and some of the crew joined.
It’s our first dance battle competition. We met a lot of dancers of different crews and even outta city. It was fun, gathering with all those dancers, and that was actually the purpose of the event. Here I learned much. What I get is The real purpose is not to be the best, but to give the best you got. Yes, that’s the way it should go. I passed until big 4, and in 2 first battles, my purpose was to win over my enemies, and lucky I won them. But then the 3rd and last battle before I wiped out was a battle with my own crew member, who’s absolutely a lot more skillful and things. And I was lost before the battle even started. I thought I won’t beat him and I backed down. It’s not a respectful loss, I should have battled to show my best, not to beat the enemy. So the result is I was wiped out and I feel bad. If only my purpose was to give the best of me, not to beat them, I would’ve enjoyed my dance better and won’t feel bad about anything. Next time it is, I should always be trying to give the best and always be myself. However, I am really grateful for that day. It was an amazing day of experience.
These days I feel like I’m bonding to the circle. I remember I was feeling alone and I was feeling as an outsider in this circle. But it’s changing, it’s getting different. That began the moment I started to act as myself, as me. Not as who I pretended to be. Then the whole view started to change little by little. I could enjoy my time. The conversations start to get nice. I don’t feel like a scrap on their shoes, at least it’s not like how it used to be. I hope this will last and get even better. I belong here as I know and things should be better since we’re gonna be together months ahead. The thing learned is, being yourself is nice, really nice. Even though yourself is not who you want to be. Be honest and show our weakness, people will respect and like us more than if we try to cover it. When it’s spoiled, it’ll all be over. Being our self is being bold, and no one will suspect anything.
Oh yeah, I bought this agenda book, it’s like some kinda journal. Since it’s getting busy in my days, I should note many things so the alzheimer moment don’t come to me. Plans rushing this month are only: Charity Job “Satu Hati” at 23rd, perform at school’s Easter and Petra Parade preliminary at 28th, perform at PD Team’s Easter and Petra Parade finals (if we pass) at 29th. And some small events around it. Getting my butt sore after One For All ‘till now though, I hope it’ll heal fast! ‘_’
These past few days I was busy selling T-Shirts to my friends, it started when my friend wanted to buy it and I helped him looking for more interested people to grab them as well so that the price will drop lower. Looking for a certain number of people was hard, but when it hit the number, it expanded and the number of people ordering was doubled. I was like, WOW. This could make and allowance to me. It’s really nice and I think doing it again next time won’t hurt. More allowance, more fun! LOL
A little info: I'm back to my swimming routine! Every Monday! It's nice to know I'm gonna get taller and not stuck like this. I'm doing it alone. I wonder what you'd say if you know that I go to that place every week, alone. You'd probably freak out and tell me to stop. haha.. That place used to be forbidden for me even if I went there with my friends. And I remember sneaking there without telling you. LOL Wow, memories. I hope you swim often too. You're a great swimmer, remember? Don't get caught up too much in education buzzes.. Actually, something really happened in this place. But I'm okay and I handled it. I can protect myself, you know? See, I'm not a real kid like what you always thought. Besides, swimming alone doesn't make me feel unsecure. It actually strengthens me somehow. I feel all buffed and serious. haha..
The last thing are prayers for the 12 graders, 9 graders, and 6 graders who is facing UNAS these weeks. Good luck! Give your best and God will do the rest. GBU :)
Had nice weeks with O4 Crew. I love how we were together. Hope this will last, even when we're not going to the same school later. I enjoyed the practice, the hangout.. Mehn, how God gives me such great friends. :)
We performed at Angela Yanetha's party. Might be the others' last sweet 17th party for their year. haha We had fun performing since it's some kinda fresh concept. It's a fun night. I don't know how my days would be without these guys. Well, those days are going to come just some months again. :( (But somehow it makes me feel so young since they're graduating and I'm not. haha) I hope we can still always hangout a lot! School's coming right now, though. Should get going from all the fun. LOL
I try to study hard in class, mostly at math! At least I'm trying to show my efforts just so the teacher know. I hope my efforts won't be useless! Booyah!
Dance life. Preparing for Petra Mahakarya Competition and "the year's project". I'm still confused what to do about "the year's project".(Let's make it TYP for now) I should get up and bring the team to life.. Maybe it feels really hard since there are gaps everywhere. But I believe we can team up and give the best for everyone. Let time bonds us..Whutta!
For the flaw, my "past". I researched some things about it and then I felt like one with a cancer. I mean, why me? Why does it has to be me when others are living a normal life out there? Well, I believe the answers won't matter much. All I know is that God created me this special, which such "special" problem to be blessing other people when the time comes. I think I wanna confess and open up to people someday, what I am, who am I. Then I would write my struggle, everything about it. But that's when I'm ready and I really don't know when..haha Opening up will show who my true friends are, and who aren't. I'm ready to be left, actually. The most important is the true friends. :)
Yesterday a teacher made me cut my hair on the long back tail, and I was pissed of like crazy. I got crazy moments and spit out all the bad words.. Still need more self-control. But really, I really wanna make her regret what she made me do. It was boiling inside and all I wanted to do back then is to make a shameful moment for her. Mehn, I'm gonna cut and hold it off..
Today I told my sister about me. And actually, she already filled in by mom -_- No need to say much again then. But something during the conversation is disturbing me.. It's kinda going to be a new mind bug for me. Arghh. And talking of mind bug, my personality disorder is coming up again..dang.
New problems feel like they always come up to replace the old ones..
Life just won't stop trying to knock us down.
But it's always our decision to stay strong.
By the way, still loving David Cook's Always Be My Baby so dang much..
We performed at Angela Yanetha's party. Might be the others' last sweet 17th party for their year. haha We had fun performing since it's some kinda fresh concept. It's a fun night. I don't know how my days would be without these guys. Well, those days are going to come just some months again. :( (But somehow it makes me feel so young since they're graduating and I'm not. haha) I hope we can still always hangout a lot! School's coming right now, though. Should get going from all the fun. LOL
I try to study hard in class, mostly at math! At least I'm trying to show my efforts just so the teacher know. I hope my efforts won't be useless! Booyah!
Dance life. Preparing for Petra Mahakarya Competition and "the year's project". I'm still confused what to do about "the year's project".(Let's make it TYP for now) I should get up and bring the team to life.. Maybe it feels really hard since there are gaps everywhere. But I believe we can team up and give the best for everyone. Let time bonds us..Whutta!
For the flaw, my "past". I researched some things about it and then I felt like one with a cancer. I mean, why me? Why does it has to be me when others are living a normal life out there? Well, I believe the answers won't matter much. All I know is that God created me this special, which such "special" problem to be blessing other people when the time comes. I think I wanna confess and open up to people someday, what I am, who am I. Then I would write my struggle, everything about it. But that's when I'm ready and I really don't know when..haha Opening up will show who my true friends are, and who aren't. I'm ready to be left, actually. The most important is the true friends. :)
Yesterday a teacher made me cut my hair on the long back tail, and I was pissed of like crazy. I got crazy moments and spit out all the bad words.. Still need more self-control. But really, I really wanna make her regret what she made me do. It was boiling inside and all I wanted to do back then is to make a shameful moment for her. Mehn, I'm gonna cut and hold it off..
Today I told my sister about me. And actually, she already filled in by mom -_- No need to say much again then. But something during the conversation is disturbing me.. It's kinda going to be a new mind bug for me. Arghh. And talking of mind bug, my personality disorder is coming up again..dang.
New problems feel like they always come up to replace the old ones..
Life just won't stop trying to knock us down.
But it's always our decision to stay strong.
By the way, still loving David Cook's Always Be My Baby so dang much..
Hit me up with anything)! http://formspring.me/ReinhardGouw
