Reinhard Gouw's Journal

How can you turn into someone you never wanted to be? How can you hate a monster so much but slowly turning into it without even realizing?

February had been a busy month, I could rarely spend my time laying down without being chased by deadlines. The new semester has been challenging and surely one level above, especially since I took many as many classes as I could take. It's tiring that I had so many things to do with so little time. What's more is that my house is 40 mins away from the campus. So it had been taking 80 mins of my everyday on the road, if not more because of the traffic. It's making me lose my sleep hours and therefore my healthy daily mood.
BUT!
I've been staying in my friend's apartment in the past 3 weeks. Only for certain days only, but it's quite neat. And next week I'll be moving to my new rented apartment on the rear side of the campus with a friend. :) What I should think about is how I manage my money, my time; for myself, for university, and for FAMILY.

So about my resolutions in 2013, it's still not going quite well. I'm still having hard times being this rebel. But I did make progress in fighting my guilt. It leads me to be bolder than ever. It should keep going, but I'm afraid that it'd make a thin line between bold and cocky.

February's been a long and winding month. So tiring and hectic. I hope March gets smoother although it's actually gonna be on contrary. haha.

I need some long break from everything.

22rd-26th January, I went to Bangkok with my family, cousin, and my sister's friend.
It was my first trip to Bangkok, I love the food, style of the people, and how cheap everything was. What's disappointing was the bad hospitality. It was a shopping trip since women dominated our party, and I got a lot of good apparels with crazy & great price. Also!!! The best street foods I've ever tasted in my life.






31st January-1st February, campjur of UC Psychology 2012.
It was a memorable trip where I learned so much valuable things. In summary, I was motivated to be bolder as myself, because every human is unique; our weaknesses can also be our uniqueness, polish it and it can even be our strength. That way no need to be so anxious about what people may think about you.  Most of the time, anxieties just happen in our imagination. Try to count, how many times did your worry happen just like your imagination? It's just anxiety dominating and it's not real. Admit your weaknesses, discover your strengths, say what you have to say, speak up. Let people know who you are. Act and believe in yourself. Take chances, try things and fail if you have to, failures are a part of lesson.

I also learned more about myself and had a small resolution.
I am someone who enjoys leading. But most of the time when I get to be the leader of a group and the group becomes a failing group, I lose faith. I would feel like I never deserved & was never capable of being a leader, everyone was wrong for trusting me. That I should be no more than being led.
NO. Now I know that one of the skill that a leader must have is to be able to motivate himself under these circumstances.

Psychorangers 2012 got closer, I get to know a lot more about some of them. And see some good changes in some of us. :)



Thanks to Pak Jimmy for the lecture and Pak Liem for the counseling.
Thanks to the committees for the trip, and to psychorangers 2012 for the precious and fun togetherness we had! Hope it lasts till we graduate.

3rd February, ANDA Dance Competition.
Me and BDC joined and there's a lot of friends supporting. BDC&friends&couple and also other friends. We didn't win, but we sure had fun and the most important thing is that we spend the whole day together.
2 things that I learned & always hold on:
1) It's not about being the best, it's about giving the best of you.
2) The real prize in a competition is dancing on the stage itself.
Be grateful.

We planned a lot of things ahead of us: professional plans and holiday plans. LOL
DANG, I love these guys.
 

BDC! Dungturut~ AkuyoIndonesia (Y)

How's 2013 for you? So far so good?

I wanna share something that I got from my Bali holiday trip.

5th - 10th January, I went to Bali with some of my psychology friends (+ 1 IBM, haha). There was also one of my friend's family. We didn't do anything naughty, just a fun and culinary trip. I had a thought about spending some years of my life to live in Bali. I want to be a bartender in a club. It can be in Bali or in Singapore. In my head it seems like a lot of fun! Juggling and dancing. haha but I guess it's a little bit too random for my life.



Not just plain fun, I learned something good from my friend's dad. He shared a lot of things to us; Honestly I can't recall most of them, but one thing that's stuck in my head is to TAKE A DISTANCE.

Most of the time we see things so objectively, that we forget to see the bigger picture. Sometimes, we need to take a step back to see everything clearer and wider. The bigger picture is your whole life itself.

When you're faced with a giant, you don't only see the feet and bash it all the way to beat it. You take steps backward, then you can see it whole, find it's weak spot. Not only that, you can see things around you wider, therefore use what's there in creative ways to beat it.
I'm really not good in analogy, but I hope you get what I mean.

For me, taking a distance is taking time to put what's in front of you: troubles, decisions, ideas in the present into the big picture of your life. Reflecting on the past, the future, who you are, who you want to be, how you want your life to be.

The points that I get from this contemplation is:
- Don't get carried away by your feelings or emotions. They fluctuate over time and acting by them can be so wrong for your past and future self.
- When life obstacles hit you and you feel like it's the end of everything, take a distance. Back there, you passed another obstacles. You can get past this. In front, you will be grateful for the lessons you learn. Always remember: "This too shall pass".
- Give your best effort in painting your picture. Try your best not to let your tired hands mess some little part of it. Remember that there's a time limit in painting the picture of life and you don't wanna waste your time fixing the mess.


That's all about it. It's not a post with the best word arrangement but I really hope it inspires you.
:)

Happy New Year to you!
May 2013 be a better and greater year for everyone, may our resolutions be fulfilled in this year. And may we become closer to who we are and where we should be.

So I should've posted this earlier, but a lot of friends from out of town came back to this city and I should hangout a lot with them. Now that the day is kinda free, it's the perfect time to post this! This day I'm going nowhere, and here I am lying on my bed with laptop on my tummy.

I hope you also accomplish your resolutions. :)
Let's support each other.

31st Dec 2012 - 00:00 - 2013 Jan 1st