Maybe I loosen up too much. Maybe, I learned trusting too far. To them. To myself. All along, the insecure times are still there, like it's always been. It's the only thing constant in me even when I try to lower it. Mistrust issues. It might be a good warning for me, to put up the awareness like I always did.

I don't have to trust them so much. Words are futile. I don't have to trust myself so much. It's always foolish when it comes to this. I knew it all along. Yet I build up this careless move. Maybe I'm just like the others. I'm one of them anyway. That's why I should contemplate more on being this vampire.

That feeling, the moments before the mistrust issues appear, bursting like flames, beautifully flowing, along with the thorns of mistrust. I miss it.

I'm dropping waters for this thing, well it's been a while. And I don't know where to go.
Maybe it's all my fault.





Thank you for rewaking my awareness.