Monday, December 3rd 2018 |
I finally have the reason to officially announce that I am moving away soon.
We made the payment. In around 2,5 months, precisely in mid February, I will pursue my further study in Melbourne, Australia. It's been the plan since I was still working on my final thesis in UC, and finally it's just around the corner.
I will be studying Communications and Media Studies in Monash University. It's going to be a pressure because other than the global rank, it took quite the expense; and I promise I will work really hard to repay my parents later when I graduate and have a decent career.
Acknowledging that, I assume it will change a lot of things. I might not be able to dance as much as I have been doing in the past 9 years. Dance has always been a huge part of my life. It turned my life around from being friendless and bullied to this bold guy (at least that's how I like to see myself). Dance was the beginning of my confidence, my energy, my friends, my self-branding, and overall, my life. Thus, all this time I've never know how it would be like if I take dance out of the picture. It is scary and truly gives me the anxiety. A part of me is scared of going back to the old Reinhard before he found dance.
Not only that, it will be the first time I live somewhere else on my own in this 24 years of living. Many have experienced it earlier and it intimidates me. I wonder if I will survive financially. I wonder if I will find good companions. I wonder if I will thrive and be "someone" and really do "something" there. I don't want my life to be mediocre after moving. Because my life here, even though I take for granted sometimes, have been nothing short of amazing and magical.
I am blessed to have a good and growing dance life. Chances to excel and thrive. A reputable dance community to grow in. A house and a family to go home to. I have Ipin. Ste. Jay. Cebing. Who I can look for any day when things go either right or wrong. I have some of the greatest and supportive best friends I could ever ask for. Samantha. Abel. And many more.
What awaits in Melbourne is still blurry for me.
Waking up in another city in another country with no best friends and family. With the need to strategize to survive. With the pressure to thrive and excel and build my own life. With thousands of uncertainty.
I guess it is time for me to finally face "real life".
