Wednesday, September 12th 2018 |
It's been more than 2 weeks since I decided to come out on this blog. As some of you may know, I added some people to my close friends list on Instagram, the ones who I think deserve to know, or just people who I think are open enough to know. Then I posted the link to my blog so they could read it. And they did.
When I checked who viewed the story, every new names that popped up gave my anxiety. What would they say? How would they react? Surprisingly, most of my friends' reactions were beyond what I expected. Their messages were very supporting, encouraging, and heartwarming. I'm grateful to know that people are accepting.
Since that day, I've been feeling amazing. Though haven't announced the decision to everyone, I feel freer. Bolder. Because I know that my closest people in this life accepts me and got my back. Who cares about other people? Some friends who weren't on the list congratulated me when we met. I got friends saying they gave the link to my post to their gay friends to help them accept themselves. One of my close friends said that he felt it too. He felt that I was becoming more whole. It feels like my coming out resonates huge positivity not only to me, but also to people around me.
Sexuality is just a part of human. To be honest, I personally believe that sexual orientation is a fluid thing. That we fall in love with someone's soul. Not their gender. Sexual orientation just sets the tendencies. Psychologist Alfred Kinsey also believed that no one is 100% homosexual or heterosexual. It is more like a scale, which means you can be anywhere on that scale. Of course, it is influenced by your nature (gene) and nurture (culture, society, religion, family, parenting style, childhood experience). So don't ever disregard yourself just by being on the less "popular" end of the scale. Embrace it, don't fight it.
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
As long as you are living a good human life, who does no harm to others; even better having strong values and achievements (although wait, who ever gives a fuck about straight people's achievements just to put some leverage on their sexual orientation? fuck it.), you don't have anything to worry about. People who have an open mind and are enlightened will never mind. They will see only what you do and how well you treat others. Those who are bothered about your sexual orientation, don't sweat it. As Gobind Vashdev said, just be patient and think of them as someone on a different level of enlightenment. They just haven't reached that level yet.
I'm really grateful that 2018 has been a journey for me to become more content with who I am and open up more. And the fact that now many people know about me doesn't make you, who knew it way longer before less special. You've accepted me even before I was ready to accept myself completely, and that really meant a lot to me. Thank you so much.
I'm ready for a greater journey with this renewed boldness.
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Some of those amazing people in the midst of this narrow-minded society.
