Reinhard Gouw's Journal

Today, April 13th 2012, is an awesome yet saddening day for me and most of 12 graders in Indonesia.
It's the last day for us to do normal high school activity. In fact, this day held the last hours of daily school in our life. We'll never go to school at morning to study 'till afternoon again, in class with all of our friends, just like what we've been doing for this past 14 years. Studying in class, sleeping, always couldn't wait for break time, waiting for weekends, blah blah blah. And for the last 3 years we've been spending our maturing process with wonderful people we call friends in this building called high school. And that amazing chapter called High School is about to end, closing the whole bigger chapter called SCHOOL. Next week we're about to face the 4 days where we'll fight to end this long chapter. Senior students, let's finish strong!

Well I'm obviously mellow too this whole day. Yesterday me and Sylvia thought we should do something we've been urging to do in school that we haven't done, since it's gonna be the last day. Sylvia said that she imagined bringing a tablecloth to school, and have a private tea time in class. I always wanted to cook spaghetti for my friends, so I did late night. I actually wanted to cook my my super Tomato-Spaghetti-With-Cheese-Melted-Potato I invented in 10th grade. But I didn't have time to prepare the ingredients, so I only cooked spaghetti with barbeque instant sauce from La Fonte. And this morning, I took my time buying cheese before going to school.

Arriving not too early at school, what straightly caught my eye when I entered class was Sylvia and Myra already seated oppositely, with tableclothed table in front of  them, complete with table clock, a table decoration, breakfast, a cup of tea, and a cup of coffee. They really know how to spend time valuably! haha. I opened my huge food box full of spaghetti, but only some a few friends tried it. Maybe it wasn't as good as my T-S-W-C-M-P I mentioned. hahaha. My friend since junior high school, Selvi also brought her homemade cupcakes, well she's a chef-gonna be! She made the word arrangement "Sianida Lulus 100%" (Sianida is the nickname of our class, or Aksi Anak IPA 2) Sweet. Well, I got more excited for the day, I knew that this day was gonna be my past in the future, so I should make it memorable and not regretful. We planned to do some videos of Cherry Berry, in case we don't have time to do it again in the future, so we started making scripts in our head. And we decided to sing Adele's Someone Like You, our Indonesian version! Haha it's titled "Kembaranmu". Later we'll upload it to YouTube. Be sure to watch!
So the day went well, with everyone looking mellow, and on midday, we sat on the floor in circle with our class guardian, we sang worship songs, we prayed together, and after this few days I finally got the chance to feel Him again. I cried in my prayers, I missed Him a lot. What I really wanted is for Him to stay with me, all along my life. Okay, enough self story. haha. Then we prayed for strength, for His blessings and support for us to pass the exams well. We apologized for our hatred, for our mistakes in high school, to our parents or to our friends. God, it was so beautiful. I peeked a little along the worship and I saw my friends closing their eyes, praying. I saw their white and grey uniform. I cried more. I feel so grateful for my whole high school, for this whole SPECTACULAR CHAPTER! :) Although we won't wear uniforms again and obviously separating, I won't ever forget them. I started my life in high school.

After the heart session, we took class photos, and eat Selvi's cupcakes. More photos, and after everybody's home, it's CHERRY BERRY TIME!!! HAHAHA. So we did our video. The opening was a short drama of french or latino or whatever girl (Sylvia as Morgana) who caught her boy (me as Pedro) cheating with a girl (Myra as Ndemit). Then the song began, "Kembaranmu" or Someone Like You, bahasa version. haha. We didn't make it perfectly, but hey, it's worth watching! And after the song, we made a shoutout video, at first it was just us babbling about last day of high school and things, then it turned to a time capsule video. Yeah, we shout and motivated the "we" in the future. I don't know how much tears I'd shed if I watch this video 10 years again. haha.. I love Cherry Berry so much: Sylvia, Myra, Indra, Syndy, Alvin, and also Alkent who wasn't in the video. I'm glad that in my life, I had this little sinetron-people group, never imagined how my senior days would be without them. And also a lot of friends that I can't mention one by one, TenSixBrown, the people who I started high school with, El' Cief, the people who helped me adapt with days full of SCIENCE! Every great friends, the ones in Petra 5, the ones in Petra 1, and other schools. I miss you and I love you guys. No matter where you're going, never forget that we have those fun and unpredictable scenes together. We're a part of the same place and time back then, and it's wonderful that it was you standing there with me.





Life is a book with different chapters. Now we're turning the last pages of this one, let's end it beautifully.
GBU!

I am disappointed by a lot of truths tonight.
Or should I say, a lot of rumors. It's about the game behind the media industry. Ever heard of the term illuminati? If not, then you should look up on Google. haha. So yesterday I got a BM on my phone that Lady Gaga is going to build a castle for Lucifer and create human monsters and things, that we should pray so that she won't come to Indonesia. Today I searched for the info about this castle building and things, and I was bugged by this truth, is she really an illuminati? I then looked up again on YouTube, and it leads me to a lot more videos and external links about her and other well-known artists, even my favorite such as Katy Perry being an illuminati. No way, this can't be true. Not only these singers, but also an all-time good children movies producer Walt Disney is said to be an illuminati member as well. The proofs of the subliminal and sexual messages in the movies really mess me up. I feel bad if it has to be the truth. Disney was always giving good morals in their movies, telling tales about good friendship, sacrifice, and hope. Why so much things hidden in the back? Now, are they to be avoided?

There are so much good that isn't really good, and so much bad that doesn't look bad in this age. What do we do? In my opinion, everything has its own positives and negatives, and it's our decision what to take or leave. For example, the Disney movies. They do give inspiring things that we can learn, aside of the rumors that they already banged our mind with hidden sexual messages along the good movie. Narnia, one of its movies, made me cry when I learned the religious message. I can feel His love flowing through me when I watched this movie. So who cares about these rumors? All I know is I'm absorbing the good morals. Well, we should assort what musics and movies to hear/watch and not to. If it's obviously a fact and no rumor that it's bad, we better stay away. If it's still rumor or blurry, then why don't we just keep it to always lean on God and believe that He would help show what to take and take us away from the bad? Being completely allergic to these things, for me? Not a choice. I don't know about you, but this is my opinion.

I'm a hip hop dancer and it's a general knowledge that most of hip hop musics are containing explicit words, some also sung by those illuminati-rumored artists and I dance to them, we dance to them. Am I damned? No. Actually, I feel blessed along my journey dancing. He gave me dance and it took me away from my self-disrespect. It made me learn how to be passionate, teamwork, how to control my nervous feeling, and it even gave me a lot of great and inspiring friends.

In the end, everything can educate us. It all depends on the way you see it and what you're taking from it. And never forget to stay close to God to help us assort them.

There's so much things going on with people around me. Things are different for them, affecting externals. Some had breakups, some ran to a new relationship they shouldn't be having, some did A when they said B, some doesn't know the actual thing of what's going on, don't like each other, being fanatic, freaky, and things.

This situation has got me talking about one person to another. I'm starting to say things about other people, talk behind someone's back but being all nice in front of them. And I do realize that. It feels horrible. I'm being fake. I know I gotta stop this thing I've been going on. Well, people around feels disappointing, or maybe I'm the one who's all negative about everyone. What I know is when we know a bad thing about someone, as a good friend we have to tell them so that they can change and be better, not talk behind their backs. The deal is, I haven't got the courage to tell some certain people near me, or some of them I already tried to warn but they went off anyway. I'm starting to think if I should just hold these things to my self and shut up. Like they say, "Some things are better left unsaid, some words are better left unspoken". Maybe, but there will be no change of situation. Even if there won't be anyway, at least I should try to tell. Well, I get it. I should just wait for the perfect time to tell. No, not wait, MAKE the perfect time.

Other than this people thing, I've been feeling not well these days and I got a little stressed by tryouts and the upcoming exam. I'm eating chocolate as the stress reducer. FAT. This body's already got a lot worse since the start of 12th grade, and after the national exam I WILL SURELY get it burnt! I don't even want to look at my belly in this state. Bali holiday is coming and that means I'll be going shirtless a lot. Won't wanna be a clown at the beach! Is 1,5 month enough to burn this belly?