It's a good day to be grateful.



Some things in my life turned around.

Last year I chose a path that I've been avoiding in the previous three years of my life. I made decisions that disappointed many people, including myself. Things in life started to change. Because of my anger, perfection, ego, and some ultimate choice. As I walked in that path, the thorns and bushes started appearing, left and right, it made me want to run and just screw all the riots. I didn't realize that as I ran faster, the thorns pops and hurts even more. Just near the end of the year, I stopped to realize that I left scars everywhere.

I started to learn that running and just punching bags was awful. I thought to myself, what if I try to walk slower? I never denied that this is not the best path for me. But I've been forgetting all along that it's still a part of my journey. I don't want to stand further in front, then look back just to say "what was that?" I want every road to meaningful. I want to be here.

As this year started, life started throwing lessons about mindfulness for me, through movie, through other things, and many things that I believe are incoming.
Mindfulness is about being here. Just being here. Right here, right now. With this laptop in front of me, with this 20:55 clock on 25th January 2014. The one I love is still with me, I lay on my bed in a house that I'm living in with my mom who is downstairs, my dad and sister that aren't home yet, and even my dog named Vodka who is alive and naughty as ever. I have good friends who I just had a good time with and they're there for me. I'm still in my favorite campus that is starting again soon. No worries about the next neither the previous time. No fast forwards. Who knows if those details change tomorrow, or the day after, or the month, year after; but it's definitely here right now and I should enjoy it before that happens. Because the only thing constant in life is change, and we can only do best by enjoying all the positive details that are inside the bucket right now.

this long speech of myself,
and
Today, I realize that changes happened. It brought positives in the bucket more than ever. Some speed bumps that's been worrying every now and then is slowly fading. Scars are starting to get mended. As you try to close your eyes to the negative and just slowly feel the beautiful details of your life in your skin, your eyes, your mind, and that feeling of the air flowing in and out of your nose. Just, wow. Life's beautiful and you're alive.

Let life forces try and take you down: people hating you, bad conditions, even your own bad thoughts, but always believe that there are always other positive forces you can latch onto. Once you do, life will seem better. Happiness is always a choice.

Just, God, serenity, thank you for coming down to this human who still makes bad decisions about life. I never deserved this but, thank you. I'm grateful for this day.



What can you be grateful for right now?