Wednesday, December 25th 2019 |
After 10 months of living in Melbourne, I'm finally back in my hometown, Surabaya.
It feels so good to be back. Seeing my family and my closest friends and being able to hug them. Visiting the spaces I used to spend time in. It honestly feels like forever and just yesterday at the same time.
What I realize the most was that everyone grew in different ways. Including myself. Being away from each others for a long time make changes seem significant. Thankfully the feelings are the same. They never fail to make me feel completely free to be myself and comfortable around them. I think it's the reason this place is called home.
This home now feels like a wonderland for me. A place to take a break and relax, surround myself with people that I love and love me. Where I just have to make the most out of everyday by enjoying moments with them. Where I feel safe and don't have to try so hard to adapt and fit in with the environment. At the same time, this place is a reality that I've been away from. It reminds me of a lot of questions and facts about the present and future. The ones that have been invincible to me in Melbourne, but were actually there all along. They give me anxiety and insecurity, and at the the same time, reflection and direction.
Looking back at the life that I left in Melbourne, I started to see it in a bigger picture. A perspective that I haven't got the chance to see from. 10 months. I wanna appreciate that guy who struggled to adapt and build a life in that place. Who put the energy and effort to find a decent job and support his own living, get himself a few amazing new friends as support system, who managed to unlock some milestones in his education and dance life, built a decent network, and who's starting to feel comfortable with himself and his new life in general. Even though you constantly feel like you're not doing enough, you are actually doing well buddy. :) More to come next year, okay?
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| First day in Melbourne |
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| First year in Melbourne :) |
There are many things that I haven't told you. Believe me, a lot of things have happened. And many aspects of my life has changed, for better or for worse. And since things are starting to pile up, I feel like it's time I need to get back to this habit. Writing; my sanctuary, my sanity keeper, my cure, and one of my way of leaving my mark in this world.
Meanwhile, let's enjoy these next 12 days here. I'm home! :)
