I'm overheating.
That's what I can describe from this condition. Tryouts, okay. Then some problems with business, dealing with super irresponsible supplier.. And about heart, about to-do-lists, about bad habits, about temper, about emotions and feelings control. Argh, I need a day off!
I haven't been myself all along the week. I get mad easily, I did old habit, and my mind's kinda screwed here. I didn't spend my time to connect with Him above. I think that's one of the reason of this whole mind buzz.. I can't get my mind to focus and think clearly, unstable, and I can't get my body to do whatever I want.
I know what this thing is like, compulsion. (Getting TVD ish again. haha) It's when you know you don't have to do something, but your body still does it. Your mind is conscious, but your body isn't. Aware of something bad you're bringing, but can't hold to not do it. Controlled all by emotions and feelings.. It's bad. Super bad.
And what I feel about this crush bugging me the previous days? I don't have any feelings like that right now. I don't know why, but it just disappeared. A good news, it is. But it makes me think that I might that kind of person who easily have affections on someone, and then lose it in a blink of an eye, and I know it's a bad person to be. In the end, a crush is just another simple crush. Maybe I don't need to put it as "crush", maybe I just want these people to be people close. Maybe I just feel comfortable with them.
The thing I found out today from a not intended stalking: my ex's new lover. I just browsed around, and never thought of stalking this relationship. Then suddenly my eye caught something. And then I took a peek, the signs shown in the conversations are giving some sparks. 90% right, this person is the one who snatched my ex. And my ex seemed to be in a rel or in an open rel with him now. Wow. Such an express lover, huh? And I know that the new lover is following me on Twitter, so here's what I gotta say, mate: That person you're dating is a wolf in disguise. Yes might act all care, all good, all sweet, but just wait and you'll eventually realize that all the game is in the back.. Just a warning. Never meant to curse your rel, though. I could only say this through my 2,5 years love story with the wolf. Maybe that wolf's changed. People change, right? :)
Crazy, I never wanna find out about my ex anymore.
What I need right now is some real sleep and maybe one refreshment day is super enough..
I really, really need some time to drop everything right now and go into somewhere fresh.
That's what I can describe from this condition. Tryouts, okay. Then some problems with business, dealing with super irresponsible supplier.. And about heart, about to-do-lists, about bad habits, about temper, about emotions and feelings control. Argh, I need a day off!
I haven't been myself all along the week. I get mad easily, I did old habit, and my mind's kinda screwed here. I didn't spend my time to connect with Him above. I think that's one of the reason of this whole mind buzz.. I can't get my mind to focus and think clearly, unstable, and I can't get my body to do whatever I want.
I know what this thing is like, compulsion. (Getting TVD ish again. haha) It's when you know you don't have to do something, but your body still does it. Your mind is conscious, but your body isn't. Aware of something bad you're bringing, but can't hold to not do it. Controlled all by emotions and feelings.. It's bad. Super bad.
And what I feel about this crush bugging me the previous days? I don't have any feelings like that right now. I don't know why, but it just disappeared. A good news, it is. But it makes me think that I might that kind of person who easily have affections on someone, and then lose it in a blink of an eye, and I know it's a bad person to be. In the end, a crush is just another simple crush. Maybe I don't need to put it as "crush", maybe I just want these people to be people close. Maybe I just feel comfortable with them.
The thing I found out today from a not intended stalking: my ex's new lover. I just browsed around, and never thought of stalking this relationship. Then suddenly my eye caught something. And then I took a peek, the signs shown in the conversations are giving some sparks. 90% right, this person is the one who snatched my ex. And my ex seemed to be in a rel or in an open rel with him now. Wow. Such an express lover, huh? And I know that the new lover is following me on Twitter, so here's what I gotta say, mate: That person you're dating is a wolf in disguise. Yes might act all care, all good, all sweet, but just wait and you'll eventually realize that all the game is in the back.. Just a warning. Never meant to curse your rel, though. I could only say this through my 2,5 years love story with the wolf. Maybe that wolf's changed. People change, right? :)
Crazy, I never wanna find out about my ex anymore.
What I need right now is some real sleep and maybe one refreshment day is super enough..
I really, really need some time to drop everything right now and go into somewhere fresh.
It's 2 weeks already.
Health review:
I still can't control my disability to sleep early (read: at 10). Always had unimportant things to be done, or should be said: important-things-that-should-be-done-another-time.
And still no time for workouts; sickness, studies, etc.
Should really manage time double better..
Awesome event of the week:
Being a class representative again, to assault the OSIS leader and vice-leader candidate. It's the moment of the year! I've been a class representative the for the last 2 years. This is my 3rd and last time. Assaulting was about raiding each one of them with mental-dropping and soul killing words, and asking them a lot of nonsense questions plus forcing them to do what we want. Mehn, it was really fun being a bad guy just for 2 days. The feeling of crushing someone's feeling is magical. LOL. But it's not a good thing to do for real.
I'm starting to read books. I guess I'm being a newbie reader. It's useful you know, reading motivational books or novels that could improve your life. Try this book: "To Bee or Not to Bee".
It's a story about Buzz the Bee that had different mindset and thoughts from other bees, and then he searched for God and found himself, also the purpose of his life. It's quite amusing, right?
This is the first time for me to borrow school library books for real in high school. I think I'm gonna check for other good books..
I'm hoping that I can change and improve myself to be a better and better person by starting this hobby. I think we as human should always change to be a better person. At least till we find who we are. Especially as a teenager, it's our teen-long question. Hey, and the fun fact is: God knows you the best. So you should get closer to God to get closer to yourself.
I just had a family sharing, no, arguments, no, spilling out. whatever. We talked about our bad habits, especially of one of our family member. Heart-to-heart sharing with family feels rather awkward, don't you think?
The day before this, I was in a fight with my sister. The worst thing happened was that I spitted out a horrible and negative statement to her. Judging her about acting like a ...... . It's an automatic statement coming right out of my mouth*the moment I enraged.
I realized that I am bad in controlling temper.
From the book I read, temper doesn't solve anything. Temper only makes the person you are insulting harden their heart and hold their perception, even though they knew they're wrong.
When you are going to affect someone with your perception or way of thinking, it's not judging them, it's persuading them, lobbying. There's a specific way of talk in this. In other words, you have to be a smooth talker.
Making people caught in a bond with you is by making them feel special. Everyone has their own life, and their own life is their own show! A show needs audiences. They need you to watch their life movie. You do too, right? So if you want people to get you as a great friend (read: staying audience), you have to be interested in their life and hear their stories.
That's what I learned from the other book I blogged on the previous post.
Oh yeah, just a little curhat. Maybe just questions?
Does having thoughts of someone means you have a crush on them?
Is it possible if you're just pleasuring your relationship as fellows?
Answers please..
Oh God, this is bad.
Health review:
I still can't control my disability to sleep early (read: at 10). Always had unimportant things to be done, or should be said: important-things-that-should-be-done-another-time.
And still no time for workouts; sickness, studies, etc.
Should really manage time double better..
Awesome event of the week:
Being a class representative again, to assault the OSIS leader and vice-leader candidate. It's the moment of the year! I've been a class representative the for the last 2 years. This is my 3rd and last time. Assaulting was about raiding each one of them with mental-dropping and soul killing words, and asking them a lot of nonsense questions plus forcing them to do what we want. Mehn, it was really fun being a bad guy just for 2 days. The feeling of crushing someone's feeling is magical. LOL. But it's not a good thing to do for real.
I'm starting to read books. I guess I'm being a newbie reader. It's useful you know, reading motivational books or novels that could improve your life. Try this book: "To Bee or Not to Bee".
It's a story about Buzz the Bee that had different mindset and thoughts from other bees, and then he searched for God and found himself, also the purpose of his life. It's quite amusing, right?
This is the first time for me to borrow school library books for real in high school. I think I'm gonna check for other good books..
I'm hoping that I can change and improve myself to be a better and better person by starting this hobby. I think we as human should always change to be a better person. At least till we find who we are. Especially as a teenager, it's our teen-long question. Hey, and the fun fact is: God knows you the best. So you should get closer to God to get closer to yourself.
I just had a family sharing, no, arguments, no, spilling out. whatever. We talked about our bad habits, especially of one of our family member. Heart-to-heart sharing with family feels rather awkward, don't you think?
The day before this, I was in a fight with my sister. The worst thing happened was that I spitted out a horrible and negative statement to her. Judging her about acting like a ...... . It's an automatic statement coming right out of my mouth*the moment I enraged.
I realized that I am bad in controlling temper.
From the book I read, temper doesn't solve anything. Temper only makes the person you are insulting harden their heart and hold their perception, even though they knew they're wrong.
When you are going to affect someone with your perception or way of thinking, it's not judging them, it's persuading them, lobbying. There's a specific way of talk in this. In other words, you have to be a smooth talker.
Making people caught in a bond with you is by making them feel special. Everyone has their own life, and their own life is their own show! A show needs audiences. They need you to watch their life movie. You do too, right? So if you want people to get you as a great friend (read: staying audience), you have to be interested in their life and hear their stories.
That's what I learned from the other book I blogged on the previous post.
Oh yeah, just a little curhat. Maybe just questions?
Does having thoughts of someone means you have a crush on them?
Is it possible if you're just pleasuring your relationship as fellows?
Answers please..
Oh God, this is bad.
The first week of 2012 has passed. How's everyone doing?
The start of 2012 wasn't very nice for me.
The uncle of my mom died on the 1st day. My dad got sick on the 2nd day and had to stay in a hospital. And some other bothering little things.
But the beginning doesn't determine the whole, right?
A short story of awkward moment.
4th January, the night before I started to go to school for real (3rd Jan was the start, but on 4th I absented to go to burial), my mom insulted me about keeping the habit of waking up late and made her go all the way upstairs to wake me up. (Actually it wasn't late at all. She overreacted. But here mother goes..) She told me that she won't wake me up again if I'm late again and don't give a damn if I don't go to school. There I pinpointed, a little bit shouting, I told her I never asked her to wake me up! And I surely can wake up by myself and go to school without being late AT ALL. Okay. I'm a grown up. (really?)
Then before crashing, I put my alarm clock at about 4:20. And added more to my cellphone alarm, at about 4:30, 4:40, and 4:55, just in case I have thought of continuing my sleep. I was all set!
So the 1st alarm rang in the morning. And how wonderful bed power could be, I decided to continue my safe-sounding sleep. Let the 3 other alarms wake me up. So after some wonderful short dreams..I opened my eyes and saw shimmering lights from my window..wait. Shimmering light?? I grabbed my phone. It's dead by battery. I took my alarm clock I turned off earlier. 6:30. "Fuck." The first word from my mouth that day.
Then all along the bath I had this super awkward feeling, how I insulted my mom about "I can wake up by myself! You don't need to wake me up mom, seriously." Okay.. School starts at 7 so I should really decide whether to go to school or just continue my sleep and make this up; "I'm tired because of burial so I decided to stay at home! :)" NO. I hate lying. Damn, this was a big shame for me.
I went downstairs, sneaking and hoping my mom don't show up. And as I was about to go.. "Aren't you gonna be late?", it's her voice. "No I'm not. It's okay." Just a short awkward response with an innocent face.
Then I thought, maybe this is happening.
Yeah, one of my Christmas resolutions were to put my arrogance aside. Yeah, I really bragged about being old enough to wake up by myself and thing, then in the morning I found my phone dead when I was sure it's full on battery before I went to bed. Mehn! This is just a small (and SUPER silly. and kiddy. admit it.) thing! LOL But it really made me think twice to say such brags, even a small one like this. Nice enough to give a starter for me to start to stop.
I'm reading this book also,
And it says that it's better to shut than to say. Fits me.
By the way it's a great, great book that really improves your social life. Be sure to get one!
I start to like reading books these days. Maybe I'm turning into a nerd.
Teehee!
The start of 2012 wasn't very nice for me.
The uncle of my mom died on the 1st day. My dad got sick on the 2nd day and had to stay in a hospital. And some other bothering little things.
But the beginning doesn't determine the whole, right?
A short story of awkward moment.
4th January, the night before I started to go to school for real (3rd Jan was the start, but on 4th I absented to go to burial), my mom insulted me about keeping the habit of waking up late and made her go all the way upstairs to wake me up. (Actually it wasn't late at all. She overreacted. But here mother goes..) She told me that she won't wake me up again if I'm late again and don't give a damn if I don't go to school. There I pinpointed, a little bit shouting, I told her I never asked her to wake me up! And I surely can wake up by myself and go to school without being late AT ALL. Okay. I'm a grown up. (really?)
Then before crashing, I put my alarm clock at about 4:20. And added more to my cellphone alarm, at about 4:30, 4:40, and 4:55, just in case I have thought of continuing my sleep. I was all set!
So the 1st alarm rang in the morning. And how wonderful bed power could be, I decided to continue my safe-sounding sleep. Let the 3 other alarms wake me up. So after some wonderful short dreams..I opened my eyes and saw shimmering lights from my window..wait. Shimmering light?? I grabbed my phone. It's dead by battery. I took my alarm clock I turned off earlier. 6:30. "Fuck." The first word from my mouth that day.
Then all along the bath I had this super awkward feeling, how I insulted my mom about "I can wake up by myself! You don't need to wake me up mom, seriously." Okay.. School starts at 7 so I should really decide whether to go to school or just continue my sleep and make this up; "I'm tired because of burial so I decided to stay at home! :)" NO. I hate lying. Damn, this was a big shame for me.
I went downstairs, sneaking and hoping my mom don't show up. And as I was about to go.. "Aren't you gonna be late?", it's her voice. "No I'm not. It's okay." Just a short awkward response with an innocent face.
Then I thought, maybe this is happening.
Yeah, one of my Christmas resolutions were to put my arrogance aside. Yeah, I really bragged about being old enough to wake up by myself and thing, then in the morning I found my phone dead when I was sure it's full on battery before I went to bed. Mehn! This is just a small (and SUPER silly. and kiddy. admit it.) thing! LOL But it really made me think twice to say such brags, even a small one like this. Nice enough to give a starter for me to start to stop.
I'm reading this book also,
And it says that it's better to shut than to say. Fits me.
By the way it's a great, great book that really improves your social life. Be sure to get one!
I start to like reading books these days. Maybe I'm turning into a nerd.
Teehee!
