I'm overheating.

That's what I can describe from this condition. Tryouts, okay. Then some problems with business, dealing with super irresponsible supplier.. And about heart, about to-do-lists, about bad habits, about temper, about emotions and feelings control. Argh, I need a day off!

I haven't been myself all along the week. I get mad easily, I did old habit, and my mind's kinda screwed here. I didn't spend my time to connect with Him above. I think that's one of the reason of this whole mind buzz.. I can't get my mind to focus and think clearly, unstable, and I can't get my body to do whatever I want.

I know what this thing is like, compulsion. (Getting TVD ish again. haha) It's when you know you don't have to do something, but your body still does it. Your mind is conscious, but your body isn't. Aware of something bad you're bringing, but can't hold to not do it. Controlled all by emotions and feelings.. It's bad. Super bad.

And what I feel about this crush bugging me the previous days? I don't have any feelings like that right now. I don't know why, but it just disappeared. A good news, it is. But it makes me think that I might that kind of person who easily have affections on someone, and then lose it in a blink of an eye, and I know it's a bad person to be. In the end, a crush is just another simple crush. Maybe I don't need to put it as "crush", maybe I just want these people to be people close. Maybe I just feel comfortable with them.

The thing I found out today from a not intended stalking: my ex's new lover. I just browsed around, and never thought of stalking this relationship. Then suddenly my eye caught something. And then I took a peek, the signs shown in the conversations are giving some sparks. 90% right, this person is the one who snatched my ex. And my ex seemed to be in a rel or in an open rel with him now. Wow. Such an express lover, huh? And I know that the new lover is following me on Twitter, so here's what I gotta say, mate: That person you're dating is a wolf in disguise. Yes might act all care, all good, all sweet, but just wait and you'll eventually realize that all the game is in the back.. Just a warning. Never meant to curse your rel, though. I could only say this through my 2,5 years love story with the wolf. Maybe that wolf's changed. People change, right? :)

Crazy, I never wanna find out about my ex anymore.

What I need right now is some real sleep and maybe one refreshment day is super enough..
I really, really need some time to drop everything right now and go into somewhere fresh.