Powerless.
10:51:00 PMI am nothing.
I was too young to recognize myself.
Now that I'm 20, I start to see the reflection more clearly.
I have 20 years and I have not marked anything at all in this world.
I start to think that I have superiority complex.
I think of all the things I can brag of myself. And starting at being 20, I have this counters coming to me, making me realize that I did nothing:
I have so many friends. I'm quite well-known.
. Not that fast. Only in your campus and some dance or high school friends. Then again, compared to who? And then what? You have no impacts at all. What's so special?
I survived from bullying and turned to be a better person.
. Meaning you become a dancer, and organization junkie, you have a vision of having an anti-bullying organization but never think of any plan about it? That's it? What's so special?
I never not pass a preliminary round in a dance battles.
. Yes, you're a lucky guest. You're just lucky, And you never even went to finals. What's so special?
I am an active organizational guy in campus, and my track records are remarkable.
. In campus. You never know how you'll do in greater organization out there. What's so special?
I write a blog that means to inspire people.
. Who are you? Your blog is not even well-known at all. Does it make any impact? What's so special?
Everything that I'm proud of, maybe it's just me and my superiority complex.
Maybe I overrate myself because I thought I was nothing, but can actually do something. And that something is honestly not a big deal at all.
To be honest with myself, I feel like I never did any real hard work to maximize myself. I think everything happens mostly because of my luck.
Maybe I'm being negative but maybe it's the right place to start.
I understand that I am nothing, no one.
And it's time to think about what to do with it.
2 feedbacks
Re. Aku punya teori seperti ini, Keberuntungan itu didapatkan karena the universe itu menganggap kita pantas mendapatkannya. Bagaimana universe menilainya? yah dari kerja keras kita selama ini. Bagaimana kita bersungguh-sungguh dalam melakukan sesuatu. Kalau kamu mau lebih kerja keras lagi dibandingkan yang sebelum-sebelumnya yah nggak apa-apa. Menantang diri sendiri itu bagus. sesuatu yang positif.
ReplyDeleteTapi membaca beberapa postinganmu yang sebelum-sebelumnya aku rasa kamu kurang bersyukur dengan apa yang kamu dapatkan selama ini, kalau kamu nggak belajar bersyukur yah kamu bakalan berjalan di lingkaran ketidakpuasan. Selalu merasa bahwa tidak mencapai apa-apa padahal yah tidak begitu. Kamu nggak mau kan 10 tahun ke depan merasa miserable karena merasa tidak menggapai apa-apa. dan terjebak ke dalam black hole kesendirian (Selalu merasa sendiri di tengah krumunan orang)
P.s Superiority complex itu harusnya positif loh, kamu harusnya bisa memanfaatkan hal ini sebagai ajang pembuktian diri, tapi superiority complexmu di sini mengarah ke arah negatif re, bagaimana orang bisa menghargai semua pencapaian dari kerja kerasmu kalau kamu aja tidak stand up dan proud kalau kamu emang deserve untuk merasa superior. (9^.^9)
P.s.s Kemarin di postingamu kamu nanya apakah perlu menggunakan bahasa indonesia lebih banyak? Bagiku nggak sih, ini udah bagus banget. Soalnya ngebantu pembaca seperti aku untuk belajar reading dan writing bahasa inggris lebih baik lagi. :D
Have a nice day Re.
Makasih banyak Ainun, support n commentnya memberikan insight banget!
DeleteAku cuman takut aku sudah jadi terlalu sombong dan menutup diri untuk belajar hal baru. hehehe. Makasih komennya yang mbangun banget ya, I will try to be grateful and work harder. :)