People say follow your passion. Others say be realistic.

And most of us are caught up in between.

I find it hard to really know what I should do with my life. I mean what is passion itself? All I know is that I have certain situations that can light up a spark in me. These are the certain moments when I feel fire igniting inside my soul, and it is the best feeling in the world. It makes me feel alive, it makes me wanna do it again and again, it makes me feel belong, it makes me feel home. I believe you can recall that feeling too.

For me, it's:

1. When I achieve a new milestone in dance, or simply perform in certain events.

2. When I manage people.

3. When my idea and concept turn into reality (esp. in event concepting).

4. When I meet a lot of friends and initiate the "lots of friends" vibe.

5. When I go on a trip, especially the ones with beach, nightlife, and a little shopping.

Somehow, despite all the reality and logic going on inside my head, I believe that they are what I should chase. Apart from the facts of reality, of our social structure, and of conventional life cycle (graduate - work - marry - have children - raise them - death); I'd rather walk and capture these sparks along the way; at least that's what I feel deep inside.

I think sometimes we think too much.

When we were children it was all easier (and honestly it worked out well too!).

Before I graduate I thought a lot of what I'd do after I finish my university life. And up until now, all those nights of endless thoughts breed no certain choice that makes me feel secure. Each choice has its own strengths as well as its own drawbacks, and to only believe in one choice would be too risky. I have so many things that I want to check off my bucket list. And no social system should prevent me from pursuing them.

Some people live to work their asses off in an office, and they're happy. Some others dance their performances away to glory. And there's nothing wrong with both. Simply as long as you're happy, you're fine. No one can set your way to live, as long as you mean no harm to anyone. Then again, some of us may think of this mindset as naive ("wake up, it's real life"), while others call it "really living". Honestly, we'll never know who lived a better life until we kick the bucket and looked at each others'.

So I think I'll say for now that as long as I live, I will always seek these sparks along the way. And when I can't, the least I can do is that I will always -- look forward to it. I will always try to keep myself alive. 

Well this is my young and confused self speaking.
Let's see later what my 40 years old self would say.