I've been working for precisely a month now.

At first, it felt really uneasy. I used to be free, did things on my own time and arrangement. Now I have to work from 9,30 to 5. I have narrower time on my hands. I have to be strict on my time management along with my priorities. I also have to see everyday the people I'm not close with. I have to learn to blend in.

I've gotten used to be on top. In organization life, dance life, etc. Now is the time where everything goes back to point zero. The hardest part to chew is that I have to switch from "sharing" to "learning", from "O.G." to "newbie", from "the famous guy" to "the new guy". I am leaving my comfort zones. Although you might say it's a cycle we all go through, I think it's still an unpleasant phase to be in. But I am trying to suck myself up.

As much as my inner Reinhard likes to think that this ain't the right scene for him, I'd like to say that I'm just trying to adapt with the situation, the work, and everyone in it; and adaptation takes time. I remembered the point where I just joined Last Minute Street Crew. It was a really insecure move for me. Being one of the brightest dancer in campus (call me arrogant or having self-esteem), I have to be the newbie, with not much of an ally inside. I built a wall, considering that most of them was my enemy. But now, they're my family. It took more than a year to break down the walls, but it broke down anyway.

So the whole point was adaptation. I need quite some time to adapt. It made me think it's not the right place. Yes, I feel very small inside this new place. It even made me thought to just quit the whole scene. But, no. I have to adapt in some point of my life. Honestly, the bigger picture of this is about quit trial-ing and start living in the real jungle called life. By time, these bizzare things will slowly be familiar, and I will find my safe ground once again.