Hey, Life.

It's August 27th and I'm having my birthday again. Yes, that yearly occasion, and this is the 20th for me. It's not like I'm getting more and more excited every year. Even last year, it felt like it's starting to feel like routine. I didn't feel like 10 years ago where I still buy drinks for my friends to pour on top of my head in front of school. (quite the attention-seeker..) It didn't feel like it's the most special day for everyone in history. Yes, psychologically speaking; exciting things will start to get boring once you experience it many times.

But somehow, this year feels different.
It reminds me that I have officially existed in this world for 20 years. I've been through gazzillions of experiences, people, lovers, haters, bullies, events, troubles, good times, bad times, hell and everything. And amazingly.. I survived. I literally survived. Many things could have happened to end my life but it didn't. I am here. In front of my laptop. With 163 cm tall body, 61 (or 63 since I ate alot today) kg weight, growing moustache, an ability to type like flash on my laptop, a laptop that is full of psychology materials, mega technologic phone that is converting a birthday video for my friend and is a big part of human's daily life in the present, blogging mind, and a body to dance. Believe it or not, 20 years ago I was just a small 2.7 kilograms premature baby crying for food and attention.

Things have changed a lot. I have changed a lot. Physically, mentally, and everything. Maybe multiple or even another "gazzilion" time. Some tests even say I have alter ego now. I now have good sides I'm proud about and bad sides I'm disturbed about myself but that doesn't change the fact that I told you before. I STILL LIVE. I AM HERE TODAY. AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT.

And another big difference about this birthday is.. I have "2" in front of my age now. Other than " " as childhood and "1" as teenage, I am now in the early adult stage. And adult is the time where all of my preparations in the past 20 years be executed in the real world. No more ruthless life, everything has to be planned. It is time for me to leave some things behind so that my hand can take new things to handle.

I am gonna be more serious in life.
I am entering my 20s and I have to plan everything well for the real life to face. No more playing around a lot, no more wasting time for something unimportant.

I am leaving the "glass full of water".
I am used to succeed in things I don't prepare too much about and even in things I never expected I would. And that practiced my mindset to feel content with everything. Arrogance. I tend to feel that I can do anything. And when I can't, I blame circumstances and people believe it just because I'm good in verbal. In the end, when people tell me some tips and tricks about things, about life, I rarely listen. Yes, I hear them but my glass is too full to be filled with anything more. So in this upcoming stage, I want to always provide glass for people to spill water in, and be a learner again.

I am leaving the past behind.
Everything behind me is now just "a memory of my young age". The happy, the painful, the people who loved me and then gone, the people who hurted me, who ruined me, my bulliers. Everything and everyone made me who I am and took me where I am today. I can be grateful for a real lot of things in life and that means what's behind is good. Some of them are maybe literally better times than the present. But life's moving on. Thank you past for the lessons. I won't dig unimportant parts anymore.

And here I am, facing my adulthood pace.
Who will I be? What will I do? Will I make my mark in this vast world?
That's the question.

Welcome to the 20s, self. Here goes!