This is gonna be my last post about what stresses me.
Yes,  it's you. Again.

I realized that I was so stupid just for the past month. I fell again, for you.
I gave hope for myself, that we'd be able to restart and begin again and even create a better story.
I forgot that you were the one who hurt me most in my life, not to forget that I hurt you too. But I never experienced such miserable times in my life, if it weren't for you.
And this is what I clearly forgot just some weeks ago:
You were the one who said I was the only one and would always be. I was the one who said I'm gonna move on.
What happened when we were apart is: You found another. I struggled to death to forget you, never found that someone else.
It took me hard times 'till I finally moved on.
Or at least that's what I thought before weeks ago when I felt so lonely and suddenly you crossed my mind again and I crossed yours. We got along again. It's not the first time for us to happen. Magically it happened like thousand times. But I believe right now, it's just a coincidence and how bad life tries to ruin me.
I stalked you everyday, reading what's in your mind. Reading your everyday life. Who you've been with. As always, I wondered hard about who your crush tweets are for, hoping it was for me. And how funny it was that I got pissed at myself every time I read your flirty words with someone else. haha. Also the fact that I daydreamed about you and lamely checked my phone frequently, waiting for your messages to come. It was 4 weeks of crush for me, after a long time of living without somebody in my mind.
I was astonished by how fast I fell all over again for you, remembering that just days before, I was fully over you. Then I thought, 3 years has passed since the day we met and time might have changed us. And as we went on without each other, we grew up to be a greater and wiser people than ever before. I thought that this would lead us to a better relationship. I tried to change my life. Tougher, stronger, bolder. I believe life has changed you to be a lot better too. You are. The part that saddened me badly is that you're still on your old habit, and you're signed up again to the place where I told you to leave from. Well, it's your life. And now I don't have the rights to bother again.
I am not a part of your life anymore. And also don't wanna be yours.
I live my life better without you. I think you do too.
It was just loneliness that bundled us up together.
We tried to reconcile a thousand times already. It's time for me to stop trying.
It was me who fell for you. It was always me.

These next days I won't be living my sad life thinking about you again, thinking about us.
I won't think about bringing your favorite cookies again, or about when I will spend time with you again.
I will post happy stories with people close to me.
I know you will too. You have such great friends, said it yourself. You actually know that you're not weak.
I know I'm weaker than you and fall for you quicker. But now I will push myself be stronger than ever.
It's done.