Mindfulness.
9:42:00 PM
I heard about this term just a year ago in one of my class. When I heard about the term I thought to myself, "This is what I've been looking for. What I've been thinking of these past few years but don't know what it's called, the thing that I've probably been missing".
Mindfulness is a condition where you are inside yourself, right here, right now. It is a time where you are present, not dwelling somewhere in other time or place. Mindfulness is having all of your senses activated and focused on what's going on and getting every details.
For example:
"I am in front of the hotel's computer right now. I am still enjoying my stay (despite of the fact that I got to go home tomorrow; shit, work's waiting). I'm smelling fresh air in and out of my nose (duh, I've been doing that since I popped out); slowly and perfectly, my skin feeling the room's perfect temperature (come on now, it's just air), and just now a random foreigner stepped in, which means it's quite the awkward moment of life right now because I don't believe in my English that much (isn't my room supposed to be so much better right now? like, comfy bed, talk about safety). But I'll be OK because I just greeted him and we're now focusing on our own business (back to your room..back to your room..). I'm also listening to the huge printer besides me buzzing which compensates our awkward silence (uh...room?)."
Above is the condition where the mind isn't mindful. It's a foggy mind which I believe happens about 90% of our time. Now this is mindfulness:
I am in front of the hotel's computer right now. I am still enjoying my stay. I'm smelling fresh air in and out of my nose; slowly and perfectly, my skin feeling the room's perfect temperature, and just now a random foreigner stepped in, which means it's quite the awkward moment of life right now because I don't believe in my English that much. But I'll be OK because I just greeted him and we're now focusing on our own business. I'm also listening to the huge printer besides me buzzing which compensates our awkward silence.
In mindfulness, you are aware of everything happening right here right now, you're not lost in some contemplations about the next day, or your crush's house, or your bad luck yesterday. It's where you are in total control of yourself. Sipping small details to your big picture of "NOW".
Somehow I believe that it's one of the vital key to living life to the fullest. Not just running off the road, but enjoying every little steps. As time is possibly human's biggest enemy, mindfulness makes it nothing, even befriends it.
What's funny and also ironic about mindfulness is that sometimes we need to take a step back before we can actually step in.
I've been trying to practice this in my once bad relationship with my family.
I have mood swings often. Most of the time, I flared to my mom, sister, and dad. I threw away my angers at them. I was lost. I didn't know why I was so mad and why they were the target. I couldn't possibly enjoy most of my moments with them. But then, I try to take time now and then to step back and see my life in a wider picture. Some years in front of me: I won't be living in the same house with my sister anymore as she's probably living with her husband, or even my parents. More years ahead, I don't know if my mom and dad are gonna be too old and won't be able to do much activities as they do today. I don't know if I would still be able to see them in dark brown hair and fair skin. I don't know if they would still be able to be angry at me.
Those are the things that I'm gonna miss when that time comes, and for those things, I'm stepping in and trying to enjoy even the smallest details in the present. I don't want to regret later, so I'll relish every moment. I'll make them happy in any way that I can do right now.
Practicing this helps me enjoy life more with them, making myself a better member of the family.
It is hard most of the time since life's external stimulus affects you, and that control over yourself tends to loosen it's grip. But there's really no other time in the world where life doesn't give you external stimulus. So, why not at least try it out right now?
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