Been reading Elisabeth Santoso's blog, and I found one post that somehow depicts me and this blog world of mine.

I used to write a lot of posts, and now it's not that much. It used to be inspiration posts, now it's lamer when I read it. You know that "to live is to inspire" used to be a tagline of this blog. I had this big dream of inspiring people with me and my way of thinking. I also want to make pieces of my life that I share here motivate readers to be better. It's not me losing that dream. It's me losing the courage to.

As I realize, this year I started turning into someone else. I turned to be the "rebel" and "bold" guy that I created as my 2013 resolution. I succeeded, but it gets too far. I got this Alton Tam alter ego. Well, at first I thought it's just me and my drama. But then I was informed that my psycho test result revealed that I actually have an alter ego. It's not in the worst state when I don't recognize the other me, I don't lose time unaware of being someone else I don't know. No. I am me all the time, it's just sometimes that Alton steps in and changed my ways of thinking. When I'm Alton, i clearly have different mind and do things differently. Then when I get back to myself, I would think "Did I really do that? Why did it happened? I shouldn't have done that".

Having this new mind and personality does bring good things to me. I stopped being a YESMAN. I learned more of how to speak up. But it brings bad things as well. I become rude. I curse sometimes. In the end, I feel that I'm worse than the person that I was before. This feeling made the presumably guilty feeling if I continue trying to inspire. How can I inspire if I'm bad? Wouldn't that be so hypocrite of me?

Just then, I feel like I need to stand up from this blocking ground. All these time writing a blog doesn't mean that I'm already a person with the best mindset in the world. I'm not the best guy 2000 and whatever. I'm only sharing my way of thinking. And it doesn't need being good or bad. People have their own values, and it's OK for everyone to share theirs. I may be not the best or worst guy in the world, but these posts that I'm writing are pieces of my life. Some maybe will help you be better, and some maybe not. In the end you're the one to evaluate whether something is good for you to take and something is not. Maybe my whole blog world is good or bad for your life, maybe only some is good and some are bad. You decide. I only share my tale.

The whole point of life for me is trying to be a better person. Make life useful in ways possible and help others when able. It's not about being the best, it's about giving the best of you. So let's just share together and support each other. Would you? Everyone around you watches your life. Speak up, be heard. Everyone can inspire in their own ways.